Best Quality Doorbells
“Excuse me sir, can I interest you in a…”
There was a moments reprieve before…
“Hello, I was just in your neighbourhood when…”
“Will this ever end?” Winston thought to himself, closing the door for what he knew wouldn’t be the final time that evening.
Winston marched out to the garden shed to fetch his toolbox. He then, at quite a considerable pace, walked around to the front of the house. Without looking, he grabbed the first tool that came to hand and started dismantling the doorbell. In less than a few minutes it had been completely removed from the wall.
“There! No more interruptions” said Winston, although none of his neighbours were around to see the look of achievement on his face. The doorbell lay on the front lawn as Winston went back inside to finish the Sunday crossword.
Later that evening, Winston was washing the dishes, after one of the most relaxing Sundays that he could remember. When, out of nowhere… Ding dong!
“But, how?” Winston walked out to the hallway and slowly opened the front door. On the steps stood a tall, slim man in a well-fitting suit. His feet were positioned exactly shoulder length apart, and his back was perfectly straight.
“Good evening sir, sorry to disturb you at this hour. My name is Colin Best, and I’m from Best Quality Doorbells.”
Winston leaned out of the doorway and looked to his right. A brand new doorbell now occupied the previously blank wall space. The large LED on the front was blinking uncontrollably.
“It’s just installing a new software update” said Colin.
Colin was about to speak again, before Winston interrupted him. “But, why is it there in the first place?”
“Oh, that’s just part of our upgrade program. You see, we noticed that a lot of our customers buy a doorbell just once, which isn’t good for business. So my team came up with a clever marketing ploy.”
“Yes, in the very literal sense of word.” said Colin, chuckling to himself. He continued, not giving Winston a chance to interrupt him again. “We bombard our customers with door-to-door marketers, until they feel compelled to destroy their doorbell. Then, when we receive a notification that their doorbell has been destroyed, we drive to their home and install the latest model. All with free delivery and installation. So, how would you like to pay?”